Ahh, poor brice. There’s a chance he won’t see jason and amber before they leave tonight, since today is a really important work day.
They’ve all been playing League of Legends non-stop, in the middle of all the packing and craziness this week. I barely remember how brice reacted when jason moved to texas for work, but i understand that feeling of being separated from a best friend.
Part of me has been annoyed, knowing that all the time playing games is because of that feeling, and it keeps him from getting quick priorities done. A call to an apartment complex that takes 5 minutes isn’t going to stop a game of league that will last 30-60 min, especially when you need all 5 people to be ready before a game starts.
We won’t have internet for 2 weeks now since brice swore they could disconnect and reconnect our service “really quickly”. I think the kicker to that is really how much brice will miss playing league in that interim. Bleh.
Signed in because i’m just having a shit night and i don’t know what to do.
I guess a couple a things are happening recently that has sort of thrown the balance off. Jason and amber will be moving to LA in january for jobs, so suddenly brice and i need to find a nee place to live and i guess no one is particularly looking forward to splitting. Just a sort of air of unease about settling things
Right now i just. Don’t know why i feel like i did something wrong though. I just got this cold feeling from brice, he was bring really distant for no reason at all. And just a while ago when he tried helping me fix a broken piece of an expensive figure he made it worse by accident and it was just heartbreaking for me to see it. I know he tried but it just made me upset, and now i guess i have a reason to be mad at him but i don’t want to be? I just want to not feel shitty anymore between being mostly ignored and then having something irreplaceable broken.
And i’m sorry for the lack of a text cut, the tumblr mobile app just doesn’t have a way to do it. I’m just curled up crying and i just want to not feel like things are falling apart for no reason suddenly
So sometimes i wonder what it may be like to open up commissions, and then i end up scrolling through the commissions tag and i almost always end up disappointed and frustrated with how many people offer to make art for only a scant few dollars.
Not everyone is going/attending or went to art school, but some of the things i’ve seen are worth so much more than what’s being offered, and it really kills the value of the years of practice people took to get there.
I get that people are too nervous to not make any money and would rather try to be lenient with customers, but lowballing prices just hurts other artists as well as the artist in question—if you don’t see the value in your own art, no one else will think to either.
So I’m not sure what to think…
The job I was previously let go from is coming back to offer me another chance (nothing new, no promotion, same job/expectations as before).
Part of my brain is going, “This is a test from your boss, to take initiative, be confident, etc”, the other part of me is going, “you’re hesitating because the last few months of that job was stressful and you hate it.”
And then there’s the battle between going back to “secure” income at a job I dislike, or taking the chance to move on to something new while taking the chance that I won’t find steady income for a long time.
I have a bit saved up but… I’m not sure what matters to me more, the money, to save face, to be happy?